Replay Pay It Forward (An SC2 Advice Thread)

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For those of you who may not know, let me take a moment to describe the "Pay it Forward" philosophy. If you are on the receiving end of a good dead, you do not pay back the original benefactor. Rather, you do good upon someone else, who in turn, carries the deed forward. It's an idea by which a great deal of good can be done, with only a little deed to start things off.

I'd like to apply it to StarCraft. 

Here's the idea: First, find and download a replay, posted by anyone, at any time, in this thread. Then, watch it, and reply, with some tips on what that person could do to improve their play. Be sure to quote that person's replay submission, so it's obvious who you're offering advice to! The more detailed, the better! Offer criticism, not hate. Don't let your league discourage you; you don't have to outrank someone to still give them helpful advice.

Once you've done this, you may then post your own replay, for others to give advice on. It's that simple. Your helpful tips will then pay themselves forward.

I'll start. Here is my replay:

Ignore the silver border; this was my second game of the season, and misplaced me into the Silver league. Within a day, I was back in Platinum, where I left off last season.

In this game, a TvZ, I open up with a build that I'm rapidly starting to like. It's a very aggressive double-Reactor Factory opening, into a fast Armory, for mass Hellbat/Thor production. (Heavy mech play.) Siege Tanks are also added, once you have enough Thors to negate Mutalisks. Also, because of the fast Armory, you can aim for getting +3 attack upgrades, as quickly as possible, for your mech. The result is a potentially very damaging Hellion harass, and a very beefy mech push later on.

I like this build, primarily because if a Zerg player scouts a couple of Hellions early on, they'll probably assume Bio/Mine play into the midgame, and make Ling/Bane/Muta to deal with it. This gets shredded by Hellbat/Thor, at least in my league.

But this game, I lost. And looking back on it, I'm not really sure why. I know that my initial hellion push did little-no damage; his reaction was great. But I doubt that cost me the game, alone. It ended in a weird baserace scenario, but I felt I was ahead for most of the game. So tell me: what could I have done better, and where did I lose the game? Also, what could I do to improve my playing speed? (Right now, I play very slowly.) Once you've answered to me, or to anyone else in the thread, feel free to post your own replays and keep the advice flowing!