The LOL/Facepalm/WTF Hilarious Heroes of the Storm Thread

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So, I'm solo-queueing in Heroes a few minutes ago--quick match, because my try-hard circuit is fried.

We end up being Abathur (myself), Li Li, Raynor, Illidan and someone else whom I forget. Actually, I only remember Illidan because he's in every game this week. The map is the haunted mines.

The match starts, and I watch in bewilderment as my entire team goes top, leaving squishy Abby on bottom by him(my)self. Bewilderment turns to horror, however, when I see that the entire other team also went top. Everyone's in a full-on team fight, minions are on vacation, and xp bars are at standstills. I have no idea what to do in this situation as Abby. He's a big old turd in the early game, so my team won't really reap any of the benefits of my Omniscient Protector build. But, if I stay bot and farm xp, they're stuck in that 5v4 whirlwind of ineptitude in the top lane.

F it. I'll symbiote my team and try to help.

We're slaughtered.

Soon enough, the big burly voice in the sky tells us the mines are open. Okay. Let's redeem ourselves.

Li Li solos the mine and gets slaughtered. Shortly thereafter, Illidan and the other guy go in (I think it was Sonya?) and start harassing a little bit to stall the other team. Li Li respawns and joins them to bring on the heals.

Raynor's farming xp by himself in the top lane.

"Raynor, we need you in the mines, man," I say.

He keeps farming.

"Raynor, buddy. Head to the mines."

Everyone down there dies. "Too late." He responds.

Skull count is 100-0 in favor of the other team. I didn't think that was possible.

"Might as well push as far as we can, now," says Raynor. Everyone else joins him. F it. I symbiote Illidan, assuming that we'll all gather bottom to defend against the super golem and inevitable full team push.

The golem is at our gate. So is the entire other team. I'm pinging "defend' like a lunatic until the chat system tells me to shut my hole. My "Q" key explodes from rapid overuse. Li Li, Sonya and Illidan join me to defend.

Raynor's still up top pushing their towers.

"Raynor, come defend buddy. We need you down here," I say.

Raynor's silent and keeps pushing.

Soon, though, I see Raynor start making his way back. Finally, he's coming to help out as the golem+5 break down our second set of bottom towers. Raynor stops to get vision on the enemy side. Raynor moves back up top to keep pushing.

After two more seconds, I see Raynor's picture up on the death timeline. I don't know how he managed to do that to himself.

With their first golem of the game, a 100-skull monster, the other team pushes into our core and wins. The final level count was 10-11 in favor of them.

"I hate Illidan," says Raynor.

"Hate yourself," says Illidan.


This thread is dedicated to making games like the one I just experienced hilarious instead of infuriating. Bad games are fun when they're funny, am I right?

What similar stories do you have?