I'm going on day by day, watching dailies (I'm littlebig11 on there btw) and getting along with college. For some reason though, despite all of the great things that I've got going for me, I'm having trouble staying relentlessly positive. Here's why: at college, I'm currently studying computer science in the Engineering School at the University of Illinois Urbana Champaign. I've been pushing very hard on my schoolwork, and I've been getting straight As, because I know that it's going to be important for internships and employment in the future. I'm also working on projects on my own, reading ahead on the literature, and just trying to be the best student I can be. You might say, well that seems awfully overboard, why are you doing that? I'm doing it because from day 1, they tell you that you need to be doing projects, and getting good grades, and doing all sorts of stuff, so that later you can get an internship and then later a job. And I'm doing it because I see all sorts of people around me who are doing so much better than I am, and I just want to strive to be the best. Unfortunately, as a result, I've ended up locking myself up in my dorm room, and just end up working every night. I want to meet people, but outside of my roommate, and a couple other people in my dorm, I haven't been able to get out and really meet people. Imagine that... a campus with over 40,000 people on it, and still I manage to feel so alone in it. I still keep up with a few people from back home, but every day I just feel so isolated. And so even though I committed myself to being relentlessly positive, I'm writing this because I'm losing my grip on that. I'm tired of being alone, and I'm resolving to do better with my social life here. But right now, I'm writing this because I'm hoping that I can get some encouragement to stick with things and keep on going, because right now I'm running really short on love.