Finish my Vtuber character in time for a show in April

Welp, it’s way past my bedtime but I now have a (very poorly) functioning avatar. I still really don’t know if going through THAT MUCH was worth the current output. I’ll likely spend another week tidying everything up with the character and fixing the litany of animation and clipping issues that exist.

But beyond that, I did it. I did it god damnit.

I set this projects goals to be super modest, and it turned out to still be a very heavy load. Learning the intricacies of 3d modeling as well as a slew of confusing interactions with Facerig was an unexpectedly tall order. I’m going to be creating another model later in Live2D for a live show later this year, and I really, really hope live 2d is easier to use.

https://youtu.be/hoXtKo0tMA4

The main thing I learned this month is how to sit better with frustration, and how to not quit on something just because it makes no sense and makes me feel like an idiot. Like Jake from AT says, “Sucking at something is the first step to becoming sorta good at something.”

A great deal of progress was made this week. I successfully skinned and made a prelim color to it. I successfully made it work in Facerig, a program that is maybe the hardest of all the apps to use due to its byzantine documentation and severe lack of tutorials and internet community. Does it work well? No. There’s still a bunch of issues to be sorted out with the character and I would be horrified to show it to anyone at this point.

As far as process goes, this week was brutal. Every single possible mistake I could’ve made, I made. I have to solve each mistake on my own.

When Facerig crashes or errors out, it gives absolutely no information as to why. Since I’m still incredibly new to 3D modeling and an illiterate peasant when it comes to programming, I pretty much had to brute force my way past each issue. Over half of the more than 45 hours spent this week was on troubleshooting. It was frustrating, confusing, and absolutely demoralizing at times.

What’s more, it set up an expectation that any new addition I made to the avatar would make it error out and cause even more frustration and troubleshooting. It made me not wanna work on the thing. The work put in (~100 hours) vs the output (a barely functional, buggy as hell model) seems like a real poor trade. Part of me is really wondering if this entire project is an expression of the sunk cost fallacy.

However, I’m nearing the finish line. I’ve definitely learned a lot already. There’s a chance in the next 3 days that I can actually get the avatar done by the 31st. I’m not gonna give up yet.

Also, the show itself, the thing I’m making this for, isn’t until the 28th of April, giving me plenty of time to work on this even if I don’t make the March 31st deadline.

Here we are at the end of week 3. Technically, I’m still on track to finish my last week goal. I’ve got all the modeling nearly finalized and ready for a rough draft of paint before animations. However:

I guess this is space to journal a tiny bit. I’ve made, long ago, the terrible mistake of linking self-worth to creative output. While the circumstances that made that choice attractive were kinda heartbreaking, the effect is a massive rollercoaster of emotions and depression whenever trying to make something. This last week was a prime example of that. It started out strong, I nailed down the near final geometry, and then I took a look at it and felt awful about it, myself, my place in the world, my future, everything. I took half the week off of working on it and just kinda laid in bed. I do have the luxury of being on unemployment currently, so I can afford to be depressed, but it still sucks and makes it harder to start again.

However, yesterday I did start again and nearly completed the geometry of the model. I’m stuck on another creative roadblock of what to make his eyebrows. I started assuming that there wouldn’t be any eyebrows, but the more I consider it the better eyebrows would be for expressing the types of emotions this character supposedly has (confusion, excitement, despondency). I’ve spent hours going over damn near every option with mixed results, mainly because I can’t get stuff to match with the color palette I have in mind.

It’s not as far as I would’ve liked to have gotten, but things still might be on track.

The track forward is as follows:

Finish geometry Basic Paint Rig up non-custom animations Final paint final animations (still confident I can make this character puke if I believe in myself)

Here we are at the end of week 2, with the week 2 goal completed!

First off, what a god damned overwhelming nightmare. Yesterday especially. This entire week has been rage-troubleshooting while fighting off the feeling that I totally don’t know what I’m doing and should throw this entire project in the ocean. To use video game terminology, this is a B rank difficulty task and I am an F rank player. So many things confused and frustrated me this week about this project. Many hours were spent in circular google-fu quests to find answers to the most basic of questions. I started to lose sleep and crack a little bit from the lot of (self-generated) stress.

However, here I am on the other side of that. I have cleared the knowledge hurdles and have successfully breathed life into this sentient trashbag of a character.

https://imgur.com/hNrMMkT

I don’t know if it’s a sense of accomplishment or relief, but through it I feel a bit more in control of this project and less dreading working on it. I’ve cleared most of the knowledge hurdles, and while a couple still likely remain, I feel more confident in tackling them. I’m still on track to complete this in time, and if things keep going smoothly then the rest of this process will be fun creative times instead of bashing my head against a wall times.

After 1 week, I feel like I’m on more solid footing. I have a much better idea of what the character looks like and if I’m lucky I can get it all modeled and begin coloring by this time next week. Also, a skeleton is written for the show and I think it’s gonna be a lot of fun. There’s still some questions to be answered, like how much time is guest time, what is fair and feasible to pay guests, how much time is playing video games, is this a limited run of a character, and in the event that I either fall into the dumps again or get super overbooked with other creative projects will I have the ability to put all the stuff together in a way that meets the standard of quality that I set for myself in performing.

Also, if you are a 3d modeler and have experience in blender and feel like helping a guy out in exchange for a shoutout, please hit me up on discord. I have a couple how-to questions that I don’t exactly know how to google-fu, and any help would be appreciated.

Now, there were some hiccups to be sure. I have this garbage thing where I’m at my most effective and creative when I’m generally happy. This week has been full of ups and downs, and I feel that my progress thus far has reflected that.

https://imgur.com/9qokw4e

Here’s the start, where I left off a couple months ago. The basic idea of the thing is there. I’m not using a reference image because I’m either stupid, insane, or both.

The character idea is a sentient trash bag with a pipe for a left arm and a twig for a right. Looking at it now, I can tell the proportions are way off. I’m going for a somewhat cartoonish look. The mouth needs to be much bigger, the eyes as well and the twig could use some more definition. The body shape in general needs some help too. I want, at this moment anyway, to show hints of what’s in the bag, pizza boxes, pringles can, pizza crust, etc. I might take a couple reference photos of some trash in the dumpster by my house just to get the extrusion right.

Furthermore, all the colors are placeholders. When showing this to a friend, he told me at first glance it registered as possibly racist, evoking the imagery of some racist 1920’s cartoons. While my intent is absolutely not racist in the least, I can see someone assuming something similar upon first glance. I might have to change the color of the trash bag, but I fear the simplicity of the monochrome black that works so well for the cartoonish style I’m going for will get muddied if I change it to white/semitransparent.

There are decisions to be made!